Kate's hidden secret
by VFBFan
Summary: AU story. Kate has met Castle over a decade before working with him. Soon, the past catches up to them and Kate's hidden secret is exposed.
1. Chapter 1

**November 1994**

Kate Beckett had been looking forward to finally attending Standford University all year. She had graduated High School one year early because she'd skipped a year and finished at the top of her class. The prospect of being a student at one of the best universities in the country was a chance she couldn't let pass by. It was her chance to prove herself. It was her chance to becoming a lawyer and she wanted to become one of the best.

She loved the thought of defending the innocent and helping those who couldn't afford legal services.

The thought of standing up before a jury and thanking her clients for the privilege of representing them and the thought of knowing that people trusted her...it must be a great feeling...

So here she was, a 17-year old future attendent of Standford university, getting out of the cab this sunny friday morning with luggage in hand, in Standford, California.

As she approached the beautiful building she knew that she made the right decision. She watched curiously as students hung out in several places around the campus.

Kate smiled.

This was her new home. Her future.

After receiving her key Kate started to look for her dorm, the room that would be her home for the following four years. She was curious and couldn't wait to meet her roomie...or roomies?

"101...102...ah 103", she mumbled to herself and reached into her pocket for her key. She had no idea if her room mate was already there so she pressed her ear against the door, trying to listen to any noise coming from inside.

Nothing.

"Ok...seems like I'm the first one here."

She opened the door and carried her heavy luggage into the room. It was beautiful and very spacious. There were two beds which meant that Kate would need to share this room with only one other student. She didn't really mind. She had no problems at getting along with others, so it made no difference to her if there were one or two other persons in one room with her.

After Kate had chosen her bed and had put her cosmetic stuff into the beautiful and big bathroom she noticed that there was a third door.

"Hmm...this must be an adjoining room."

"Hi there."

Kate turned around after hearing the low and raspy voice and smiled shyly at the person who stood in the door way.

The girl was beautiful. She had dark skin, beautiful long, black hair and the look in her eyes screamed convidence.

"You must be my room mate. I'm Laney Parish."

The girl approached Kate and held her hand out.

"Hi I'm Kate." Kate smiled and took the hand of the beautiful girl.

"That will be 4 beautiful years here", the girl grinned and plopped on the bed that was left for her.

"Sooo...where are you from?"

Kate smiled.

"I'm from New York City. I attended Stuyvesant High School there."

Lanie raised her eyebrows.

"Stuyvesant High School? Isn't this for highly gifted students?"

Kate blushed.

"Yeah...kind of..." _Oh my god. She must think that I'm the biggest nerd ever._

"That's great." Lanie grinned.

"It is?", Kate stammered.

Lanie nodded enthusiastically.

Kate smiled.

"Cool. And where are you from?"

Lanie flipped her hair and winked.  
"I'm from Chicago and attended Collins High School there."

"Wow. That's great. I love Chicago. I have an uncle over there."

"That's cool. We can go to Chicago in our semester holidays."

Kate grinned at the girl. She seemed to have no shy bone in her body.

* * *

Richard Alexander Rogers was nursing a hangover most of his first morning back at Standford. He had arrived Thursday evening, after spending a great time clubbing and attending a handful of parties.

Richard Rogers was really something. His school agenda was far from boring. After he had finished High school he attended many university but was always kicked out because of bad behaviour. No one knew that this boy, who had nothing but nonsense on his mind, loved to write. He turned to writing after he was transferred to Edgewyck Academy at the age of 14 because he was homesick and withoug any friends. At first he had written several stories for personal amusement or for friends, starting with thriller stories or non-fiction stuff. His first serious novel was "In a Hail of Bullets." It was rejected 21 times before a publisher accepted it. Soon after, Richard won the "Nom DePlume Society's Tom Straw Award for Mystery Literature." Now at age 24, STILL a student at Standford University, he had several bestsellers under his belt and was very smug about it. But that is who he was. He was loved by many girls and envied by even more boys but he didn't really care. All he was looking forward to was to finally finish his last year at Standford. He could've dropped out with all the money he's earned with his books but his mother told him that she didn't pay thousands of dollars for his education for nothing, so he decided to get a proper education not only for his, but mostly for his mothers sake.

Rick groaned and opened his eyes. Worst. Hangover. Ever.

After mumbling to himself that he would never drink again he threw on a pair of cut-off jeans and a blue tropical shirt and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. With his tooth-brush in his mouth he left the bathroom and frowned when he heard laughter coming from the adjoining room next to his.

"Ah the new students must be here."

Rick grinned when he noticed that the voices coming from the other room were female. He needed to check them out. That is what he always did. He was far too curious for his own good. He hurried into the bathroom, washed his face and looked into the mirror. Satisfied enough he left the bathroom again and went to the door. He put his ear against the door and tried to listen to the girls but it was quiet now.

"Did they leave?"

Rick shrugged his shoulders and decided to give it a go. He knocked on the door and waited patiently.

After a few seconds he heard steps coming closer. The door opened.

Rick gasped.

In front of him stood the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

* * *

**Sooo...Hello guys. This is my first Castle fic, so pleeease be nice. Haha. I really hope you'll like it. Please review and let me know what you think. Thank you guys. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**November 1994**

* * *

"Hey", Castle acknowledged her, taking in the lovliness of the girl's face.

"Hey", Beckett answered, not sure why she had answered him. Ok, he was just the most handsome man she had ever seen. Not in a model movie star way that many girls her age swooned over but in a rugged, very musculine way.

"Hey. Stop googling at my new friend and tell us who you are", Lanie snapped and shoved Beckett aside trying to take a closer look at the young man standing in front of her.

Castle ignored Lanie and took a closer look at the beautiful brunette who's standing in front of him, looking at him with a smile. He knew for sure that this girl wasn't the type of girl he usualy hooked up with. The smile she flashed at him nearly blinded him with its beauty. At that point he knew he wasn't going to let this opportunity pass. He needed to get to know her better.

"So...uhm...I assume that you are both new here?"

"Yeah", Lanie replied and rolled her eyes. She found him rather attractive but nothing more and nothing less. She looked him up and down and shook her head.

"Girl. I'm gonna unpack my stuff. Stop drooling."

"I'm not-"

Castle laughed at that and scratched his head before he once again looked into this pools of green that her eyes were.

"Well uhm. My name is Kate Beckett. I'm here to study Law and this is Lanie. She-"

"I'm a pre-med student", the convident girl shouted from her spot in the room and continued to put her clothes into her dresser.

"Law huh? Sounds interesting."

Beckett smiled. "Yeah. What are you studying? Seems like you're not new here right?"

Castle laughed. "No I'm not. I'm a senior now, so this will be my last year here. I'm studying literature."

"Oh, so you wanna be a writer or something?"

"Well...I kind of already am."

"Really? Anything I might know?"

"Well yeah, my name is Richard Castle and one of my n-"

"WAIT. Richard Castle? THE Richard Castle?" Beckett looked at him with big eyes and shrieked when her friend Lanie shoved her aside.

"Richard Castle? Oh my god. I love your books", Lanie squealed, suddenly very interested in him again.

"Well thank you", he laughed and watched Kate and Lanie glaring at each other.

"Uh uhm, well...nice to meet you ", Lanie answered, trying to calm down. She didn't want to look like one of these ridicilous fan girls he sure as hell had plenty of.

Kate grinned at her new friend and shook her head before focusing on Richard Castle again...THE Richard Castle.

"Wow. I had no idea that you're still a student. Why are you still here?"

"Well...I'm doing it for my mom."

"Ah." Kate smiled. She knew this feeling. She wanted to make her parents proud as well.

"So uhm...how about I give you a tour around our campus when you and your friend are ready with unpacking?"

Kate smiled.

"Sure. Why not?"

"Ok. Just knock on my door when you guys are ready alright?

Kate nodded and closed the door before leaning against it. It couldn't be could it? Did she really have a crush on Richard Castle?

* * *

Sleep didn't come easily to Kate the first night on the campus. After Rick had given her and Lanie a tour around the campus she'd decided that she wanted to lay down early because she was exhausted from the long day. Besides the sting of her sunburn she'd carried around for the majority of her holidays, the loud music coming from the other side of the adjoining door would wake her throughout the night. At first it was just loud music, then it was marely loud bangs , such as doors swinging open and hitting walls, then it was more clatter of what sounded to be someone stumbling around the room, and curses as that said person (Richard Castle of course) evidently would run into objects of furniture.

Finally, after what sounded to be a drunken rendition of The Who's "Baba O'Riley" , there was only silence, indicating that Castle had evidently fallen asleep. Thus, when morning finally did come to Kate, she almost overslept if Lanie hadn't woken her up.

"Good morning girl. It's time for our first classes so wakey wakey."

"Ughh...Lanie..."

"Come on girl. I know you are very turned on by the fact that a very handsome writer is sleeping behind this door but that doesn't mean th-"

"Ugh shut up Lanie", Kate grumbled and stood up. She watched as Lanie disappeared into the bathroom and waited for the door to be closed. After that she walked over to the adjoining door, put her ear on it and tried to hear something- anything that was coming from HIS room. Silence.

"Seems like he isn't in his room anymore."

Wait...was she disappointed? No she couldn't be. Why? He was just a writer, a famous writer...a HANDSOME and very SEXY writer.

_'Stop Katie...you are seventeen. Pull yourself together.'_

* * *

Her first classes weren't anything special. The teachers told them what they would be doing throughout the semester and started with some easy stuff, but nothing too difficult. Kate wouldn't have a problem with anything anyway. She wouldn't study law if she didn't know what to do. Her mother was a lawyer as well, so she kind of knew what to expect and, as curious as she was, she often asked her mother about her cases. She was more than ready to become one of the best lawyers in the U.S.

Kate sighed. She felt awfully bored. It was 9pm and Lanie was still not back. She'd told her that she would be out with some students she met in some of her classes and would be be back soon. That was a lifetime ago. Kate thought about sleeping early again, but she had the first two periods off tomorrow. There was no way that she'd go to sleep this early when she had her first two periods off. She'd met some students in her classes too and it's not that they weren't nice or something, but they were so...so...boring. Kate had asked them an hour ago if they'd like to do something, but they friendly declined because they "wanted to study." What were they studying for? Really? The semester had just started.

Nerds.

Kate sighed again when she heard someone knocking on the adjoining door. Kate, who has been lying on her bed the whole time, sat up and looked at the door. She was nervous. Wait. Why was she nervous?

"Yes?"

"Kate? It's Rick."

"Really?", Kate answered, rolling her eyes.

Rick opened the door and laughed.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself. What are you up to?"

"Well...I'm bored out of my mind. What about you?"

"Oh well, I just talked to my mother. Said it was an emergency."

"Oh...I hope everything is alright?"

"Yeah", Rick replied weakly. He smiled lightly and sat down on Kates bed.

"Are you ok Rick?"

"What? Oh well, yeah. I am. Just a little bit tired. That's all."

"Well...maybe you should get some sleep then."

Kate knew that something was off. She didn't know Rick at all but she DID remember the look he gave her the first time they'd met over there at the adjoined door. He had such a spark in his beautiful, blue eyes...but now...now they were kind of dull and the spark was gone. She knew that she had no right to ask him about the phone call he had with his mother, but to say nothing at all wasn't right either was it?

"Are you really ok? I mean...you don't know me and I'm probably too young to give proper advise to someone and..."

"Shhh...", Rick whispered and sat down on the bed.

"Are...are you drunk Rick?"

Rick laughed.

"Maybe...a little...bit."

Kate grinned. A laughing Rick was so much better.

"Ah ok. Well, maybe I should take you back to your room..." Kate started to stand up and tried to take him with her.

He smiled slightly as he looked down at her. In her bare feet, she must be eight or nine inches shorter than him, but the way she was looking at him, she was the perfect fit. He moved with her guidance until he was sitting on the egde of the bed, but when she would have backed away, he held onto her wrist. "No", he whispered..."Don't leave me tonight."

Kate looked down into his magnificent blue eyes and was being drawn by them. She had never seen a man look at her with such yearning before and she was becoming overwhelmed. What would it hurt? Ok, she was still very young but so what? It was her life, her decision and she knew it would happen sooner or later... there were girls out there who were much younger than her when they had sex for the first time. She had never been interested in any of the boys at her High School anyway. Yeah, she was only seventeen but she was wise beyond her years and just thought that the boys at her school were juvenile to her.

But, this man who was looking at her now; he had captured her interest...he really had...but she had been too stubborn to admit it to herself at first but now... Tonight, as she looked at her with such lust in his eyes, she knew that there was nothing juvenile about him. Just looking into his eyes, she could feel her body waking up, making her feel things she had never felt before.

She knew even before the two of them started that she would remember this night for a very long time...

* * *

Kate awoke the next morning to a soreness she could not really identify. Glancing around she noticed that she was still in her room. She looked to the other side and saw that Lanies bed was still untouched which meant that she'd stayed somewhere else over the night. Memories of the previous night flooded through her. She wasn't a virgin anymore. Richard Castle had taken the label away from her. As she glanced around she noticed that he wasn't there anymore. She didn't hear any noise coming from his room either. She lifted the sheet and found her clothes and put them on. It was only then that she noticed a piece of paper on her nightstand with 400 dollars tucked beneath it.

_"Beautiful, thanks for being there for me last night. You were worth every penny. Goodbye. Rick."_

* * *

**Hi there. :D Thanks for your reviews. I especially want to thank NinaK.05 for her help and advice. :) Next chapter will be a big time jump and many questions will be answered. Please review and tell me what you think. Sorry for any grammar mistakes. English is not my first language. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**June 2007**

Kate remembered the day she had slept with Richard Castle like no other and hated the fact that she couldn't stop thinking about the events that occured that night. He had disappointed her. Not as a writer. No, but as a human being.

Even if she'd promised herself she wouldn't support him anymore she continued reading his books in hopes to find some sort of hidden message in one of his novels, a message that said that he'd made a big mistake, that said that he'd screwed up big time, that he'd broken a young girls heart. Nothing.

She'd burned the 400 dollars he left her and promised herself, even at the young age of seventeen that she wouldn't trust a guy anytime soon again. She decided to save herself for someone who'd care to take his time to really get to know her, who'd treat her like a princess and who would love her for who she was without caring about her looks.

Rick Castle had messed her up. Big time.

She wanted to confront him, yell at him and ask him how he could do this. What kind of human being was he to treat a girl like that? To sleep with a girl for pure pleasure, to treat a girl like she was nothing but a whore?

She'd made a fool out of herself because she'd liked him more than she'd liked any other boy she'd met. Yeah, she didn't know him, only knew his books and yeah she was young and naive to think that it could turn into something serious but she couldn't help it back then. The way he'd looked at her, so desperate and yet full of lust...

How could he do this?

Well, she never got the chance to ask him, because she'd never seen him again after that fateful night. She'd been too proud to go to the principal and ask why Richard Castle left Stanford but silently wondered if the phone call he'd gotten before they slept together had something to do with him leaving the university.

She never got to know.

* * *

"Sir, are you serious? Do we really need to do this?"

Captain Montgomery looked at his best detective. The youngest female detective in the history of NYPD with the highest rate of solving crimes.

"Why is there a problem detective Beckett? You said that the murderer used one of Richard Castles novels to kill his victim so I think it would be the best to let him help with the case. The murderer might kill more persons, maybe with other methods Castle had mentioned in one of his books. It's the next logical move."

Beckett sighed. When Montgomery asked her to look for Castle at one of his book parties shortly after they'd found the first victim she'd refused. Montgomery had looked at her strangely and asked why...she told him that she had other leads to follow and had asked Ryan and Esposito to go find this jerk. She just couldn't do it. She couldn't face him. Not after that fateful night 13 years ago. There was a tiny part within her that was curious to know how he looked like now. She wasn't much of an TV type, just watched it for sports or her favorite shows. She got the latest news from the radio. She didn't read any gossip magazines either so it was nearly impossible for her to catch a glimpse of him. If she was honest to herself she knew that she avoided him. Yeah, she'd never been a person who watched TV alot, but after what happened, she avoided the TV even more than before, afraid, that she'd see him giving interviews or seeing him with other...

"Sir...I think I'm capable enough to solve this case on my own. I really don't need his help."

"Detective...I had a talk with our mayor...he's a good friend of Castle and he wants him on this case."

"Sir, don't you see what is going on here? I bet this asshole asked his "BFF" to call and tell you that Castle is needed for this case even if he isn't. Ryan and Esposito told me that he was annoying as hell, asked stupid questions and tried to interfere. He wants to be part of this case, not the mayor."

"Beckett, our princent needs all the good promotion it can get and Castle, a best-selling author will help with that. He will be on that case. Period."

Beckett rolled her eyes and sighed. She knew better than to argue with her captain. It was pointless. She couldn't avoid it anymore. Soon she would face the man who'd betrayed her all this years ago.

* * *

Rick Castle stepped out of the elevator and looked around curiously. It wasn't like he had never been at a police station before, but this time it was different. This time he didn't come here because he did something stupid. No, this time he would be sitting at the other end of the table, this time he would help catching the bad guy.

He was exited. He stood in the middle of the crowded room and thought about his excuse of a life.

His life had been nothing but a record put on repeat. Long nights of writing, countless book parties and book tours, millions of necklines to sign...his life wasn't special. The only two persons who were able to brighten his day were his mother and his 15 year old daughter Alexis. Those two were the reason why he faced each day, they were the reason why he woke up every morning.

He had nothing to offer expect loads of money and fame.

He was broken and the reason why he felt that way was a reminder of what kind of person he had been when he was younger. There was one feeling in the pit of his stomach that he'd carried around day after day and that was guilt. Guilt for what he did years ago when he was a senior at Stanford.

He thought about his actions at Stanford almost every freaking day, especially when Alexis started talking about possible universities she would like to attend when she was finished with High School. His angel was so much better than he would ever be.

Each time he thought about his time at Stanford he'd always think about _her _too .Her beautiful face, her striking green eyes. He knew that she had been alot younger than him but during this time it didn't really matter. He wanted her and he got her...but the way he left her...it wasn't his intention...he didn't-

" ?"

Castle shook his head and looked up.

"Yeah?"

"Hi. I'm Captain Montgomery. I'm the leader of the 12th princent. Welcome."

"Thank you sir, I'm going to do everything in my power to help."

"I'm sure you will", the captain smiled and led the writer to a chair.

"I'm going to introduce you to my best detective. She will be here soon to tell you what we will be doing next."

Castle smiled and nodded. He sat down and put his hands between his legs while looking around. He liked the way his day had turned out.

"If this isn't the famous Richard Castle."

Castle looked up when he heard the voice of the woman. Brown short hair, tall, beautiful...no...

"Green eyes..."

* * *

**Hi there. Uhm. Ok...I know that alot of people hate Castle right now, but you'll find out soon why he left Beckett like that. It sounds much worse than it really is. Castle is a good human being and I'm sure he will be doing a great job at making it up to Beckett even though it's hard to believe at the moment. ;)**

**Please bear with me and let me know what you think. And well...try to ignore all these annoying grammar-mistakes. I'm from Germany. Thank you for your support. I really appreciate it. :)**


End file.
